I am coming to cherish two self-directed values: honesty and kindness.

Previously, I implicitly held them in contradiction to each other. I thought that being honest with yourself was unkind.

I now believe that I was mistaken.

Being honest with yourself very often is unpleasant. But that is different from being unkind.

Now that I think about it, this pair of values can play well together. If you are kind to yourself, the ugly, unairbrushed, harsh truth that honesty reveals is somewhat more bearable. And if you can bear the truth, being kind to yourself seems like the most appropriate reward.